The Duck Stops Here has gone national. Over the weekend I wrote an article critical of the SEC, "The SEC is a Self-fulfilling Prophecy" and now I have the great honor and pleasure of being ridiculed at one of the country's leading SEC websites, the leather helmet blog, the brainchild of Greg Poole, who writes under the web moniker ecdawg.
Every dawg has his day. Poole takes me to task in his article, "Breaking News: They've Discovered Our Secret Plan." He lambastes my rant on SEC scheduling and supremacy with piercing southern humor. Here's an excerpt:
They've discovered that back in the 1930's we conspired to have bowl games played in the Homeland (point 1). Yet to uncovered is the inducement used to gerrymander games southward when, clearly, the better option for a winter vacation would be Newark, Cleveland, or Bismark.
Most disturbing is how they found out that we have conspired to have all (point 2) AP Poll voters be native Southerners or have signed THE uber-secret contract that requires a minimum of 6 SEC teams be ranked in every preseason poll ballot. As you know, keeping that arrangement quiet has been a top priority for The Committee For SEC Football Dominance (TCFSFD). TCFSFD was formed, you will remember, just after WWII by returning Southern generals. Those gentlemen swore to assure football supremacy for the SEC into the 22nd century. I love it when a plan comes together.
The dirtiest trick TCFSFD has pulled so far is to propagate the notion that SEC reams play "7-8" home games each year. It has worked so well that even with schedules published openly, those outside the region continue to believe the propaganda (point 3). For years we worried that the rest of the country would find out that we only have 50,000 people in our 95,000 seat stadiums on Saturday. We fooled 'em for years with those fake paratroopers TCFSFD bought surplus at Fort Benning right after WWII (50 for $10). 45,000 rubber soldiers, some piped-in crowd noise, schedule Appalachian State and, voila, WE'RE #1. I'll bet Michigan would like to try...wait...maybe not.
Those other conferences have been playing round robin schedules and keeping themselves out of bowls and the BCS - but now they know our secrets. Armageddon would appear to await.
I don't remember expressing my criticisms in quite that way, but I take a certain pride in being singled out by one of the foremost honks in SEC country. I feel like Steve Martin in "The Jerk" when the new phone book comes out. This is the kind of spontaneous recognition I need. The lesson is, if you're going to put yourself out there you have to be prepared for a little sniping.
I see he prefers mockery to actual, you know, factual rebuttal. Sharp bunch, down south. Hell, I have a right to say that. I lived in SEC country for five years.
ReplyDeleteFact is SEC teams DO have 7-8 home games per year and rarely leave their region when they do venture outside their home stadiums. Is it a conspiracy? Of course not. It's smart. Did you say it was a conspiracy? Nope. You said it was a strategy that's worked fabulously in terms of building a not-altogether wrong perception as the nation's strongest conference.
As much as I like the P10's round robin schedule, I sure wouldn't mind getting a few easy wins every year. We saw how effective that was toward getting to the NC game this year. Strength of schedule for P10 schools would also be greatly increased if eight or nine teams had that extra win under their belts.
Paul--
ReplyDeleteThanks for backing me up. Always good to hear from you.
Dale
Well, I couldn't resist commenting there. Using his openly published schedules, it turns out that at least Georgia has never played fewer than seven home games since the advent of the BCS.
ReplyDeletePropaganda my a$$.
Martin--
ReplyDeleteNever let the facts get in the way of a good derisive dismissal.
Thanks for reading and weighing in.
Dale
Doesn't sound witty to me. He sounds like your typical, blathering, SEC idiot.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting my sophomoric attempt at humor.
ReplyDeleteOregon is fun to watch and the BCSNCG should be a helluva game.
Dawg fans hate Auburn (our oldest rival). We would be cheering for the Ducks except for that SEC Oath of Allegiance we had to sign (in blood) at age 4. It would be nice if you won. We'd love to see Cam lose his BCS bonus.
@Christopher - lighten up, dude. BTW I resent being called "typical".
ec--
ReplyDeleteThanks for the exposure, and best wishes. We're hopeful about the Natty, but we'd have a better chance if you'd lend us Justin Houston and A.J. Green for a week or two.
Don't take it too personal about our reaction to a little criticism. We're just a little touchy right now after Robert Smith and Craig James and the rest of the suits keep saying we're frauds and have no chance. I've read your blog and it's excellent.
Chris--
Don't be so hard on ecd. He's the most original blathering SEC idiot I've ever met.
Dale