Coach Frederick Frankenstein, formerly of the University of Transylvania, Oregon's new coach of dead ends, will linebackers and special projects.There is no waiver wire in college football, and right now the Oregon Ducks have a grave problem at backup tight end.
Three tight ends have suffered injuries, and all questions regarding this sensitive position receive the death stare followed by the standard answer.
Malachi Lewis is day-to-day with a head, Brandon Williams with a hand, and Curtis White with a shoulder. Clearly the Oregon spread offense is too hard on tight ends. Even Coach Kelly is listed as day-to-day, with a brain, although in that instance the fiercely independent coach may be toying with the media, as Oregon fans know there's nothing wrong with Chip Kelly's brain.
With few options left a tight end must be assembled out of spare parts, and there is only one coach in the country capable of doing that. The staff needs an upgrade in this area; Oregon has underperformed for years at injury management and defending third and long. Coach Frankenstein will shore up a crucial perceived weakness in the Oregon coaching staff.
As an additional benefit, Coach F has the inside track at recruiting monster defensive tackle Abbie Normal, 6-9, 340 lbs., pictured above. If problems can be cleared up with his transcript Normal projects as a 6-star run stuffer who can play immediately. NFL scouts are drooling over his potential, although there is some concern about his ability to handle a hostile crowd on the road.
Was this supposed to be funny? Your title doesn't make sense, and you lack logic.
ReplyDeleteMy wife says that all the time.
ReplyDeleteSorry you didn't like the post, an homage to one of the greatest movies of all time.
Best wishes,
Dale